Archive for October 2013

Urban Dictionaree of Slanguage   2 comments


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‘hood scratch
1. Another way of saying marijuana. “Got any ‘hood scratch Mike?”          

06’n
1. Lesbian activity. “Watch out pardna, yo girl is 06’n with my sista!” 

211 (two-eleven)
1. a carjacking. Derived from the police call sign.

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Ace Boon Coon
1. A euphemistic way of saying my ni**a or my best friend. Note: because of the use of the word ‘coon’ this is a very explosive word just like the ‘N’ word.  African Americans may use it among themselves, but it is rude (and grounds for a beat down in some circles)for someone of another ethnicity to use it.  In other words, it’s an ‘off-limits’ word.  “Johnny and me been down since we was shorties.  You know he my Ace Boon Coon.”                            

Badunkadunk
1. n.  A large rear end that looks good.  **Also see “junk in the trunk” or “donk”  Lyrical reference: TWISTA LYRICS – Badunkadunk               “All in your face when you’re at the club, Badunkadunk”.

beatin’ dem cakes

1. having sex. “I got with Juana and was beatin’ dem cakes like Betty Crocker!

bitch slap

1. v. to condescend someone by slapping them like a pimp would slap a ho “You better shut up or you’re gonna get bitch slapped!”    Lyrical reference: LIL’ WYTE LYRICS – Talkin’ Ain’t Walkin’ “Bitch slap that sucka…”      

bootylicious

1. adj. sexually attractive.  2. adj. voluptuous.  Not too skinny– looking very attractive with plenty of “booty.”  “Beyonce looked bootylicious in that outfit!” 

buttaface

1. adj. A term used when describing a girl who has an attractive body, but an unattractive face. “Ayo, Mailissa is a buttaface… everything look good but her face.”    

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fo’ shiggidy my weeble

1. Another term for saying, “for sure my friend.”                              

crackulatin’?

1. (derived from “What’s crackulating?”) What is going on? How is it going? Good to see you. When greeting someone you might say, “Whas’ crackulatin’?”                         

                         

 

                                                                                                                                         

               

                                                                                                                 

 

                                                                                                                                   

                                                                       

Posted October 31, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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12 Very Bizarre Movie Deaths   Leave a comment


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Totalfilm.com

Gross, gruesome and gory ways to meet your maker

Throughout the history of cinema, writers and directors have mined their collective morbidity to come up with some particularly horrifying ways of doing folk in.

Join us for a look at some of the most bizarre movie deaths ever commited to celluloid, and pray to Speilberg that when you go, it is in a fashion far less horrid than these poor souls…

 

Gremlins (1984)

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The Movie: Billy Peltzer brings home a strange new pet, a Mogwai, for which he is given three important rules.

But silly Billy breaks them all, and inadvertantly unleashes a horde of mischievous, murderous Gremlins on his home town.

Death By:
Microwave – Left at home with three gremlins, Lynn Peltzer, Billy’s mother, manages to puree one in a blender and stab a second.

Grisly yes, but then she executes her piece de resistance – exploding the third in the microwave.

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

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The Movie: Er, Indy has to do something… Nuclear Fridge… Something about a son he didn’t know he had… Commies… Ray Winstone and John Hurt… Inter-dimensional Aliens…

We’d try and recall more actual detail, but this only results in physical pain, and, well, it’s hard to type when you’re sobbing like a baby.

Death By:
Ants – Fighting against a pack of rabid Commies in the South American jungle, both sides are set upon by a nest of giant red ants.

Indy narrowly avoids the pesky critters, but one of the Commies isn’t so lucky, and the Ants engulf him, inside and out, before carrying him off to their nest. Ewww.

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Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

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The Movie: It’s Ginny’s 18th birthday, but she is plagued by blackouts after an accident a year ago.

When all her friends start dying one by one, is Ginny herself responsible? Or will the plot get so twisted that even Wikipedia can’t explain it? (That’s a yes).

Death By:Kebab Skewer – Inviting popular kid Steve to her house for dinner, Ginny (or is it?) is feeding Steve shish kebabs.

When he leaves his mouth open, Ginny (or whoever) shoves the steel skewer down his throat, killing him instantly.

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No Country For Old Men (2007)

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The Movie: Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong and makes off with $2 Million in cash, much to the annoyance of the money’s owners.

They dispatch psychopath assassin Anton Chigurh to retrieve the money, and events quickly descend into murder, mayhem and madness.

Death By: Pneumatic Cattle Bolt – Chigurh steals a police car after escaping jail, and pulls over a motorist on a deserted road – approaching the confused man with his canister and hose.

He presses the hose against the man’s forehead and pushes the valve, sending the pressurised bolt straight through his skull. Unlucky.

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The Long Ships (1964)

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The Movie: A crew of Vikings led by Rolfe (Richard Widmark) quest to Africa in search of The Mother Of Voices, a legendary bell made of solid gold.

They are captured by Mansuh (Sidney Poitier), King of the Moors, who seeks the bell for himself, and intends to use the Vikings to get it for him.

Death By:The Mare of Steel – Demonstrating his power over his people in front of his Viking captives, Mansuh commands one of his guards to ride the Mare of Steel.

Turns out the Mare of Steel is a 20ft high, 30ft long steel blade, which the guard is dropped onto. He slides down it, being cut neatly in two.

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Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life (1983)

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The Movie: A series of short skits which attempt to explore the meaning of life through darkly comic means.   Like the TV show Flying Circus, the film also contains a variety of musical numbers and is renowned for it’s gruesome violence – the aim being to ‘offend everyone’.

Death By:Eating – Mr. Creosote (Terry Jones), an impossibly fat man, has eaten an enormous meal after vomiting on himself, the waiter and the cleaner in order to ‘make room’. Persuaded to eat one last “waffer theen” mint, Creosote explodes, showering the restaurant with human entrails, and causing all the other patrons to throw up…

Okay, a bit of a cheat as Creosote doesn’t die on screen, but we bet he doesn’t last long after this episode…

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Hot Fuzz (2007)

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The Movie: PC Nick Angel is far too good at his job, so good he’s making all the other cops in London look bad, so they ship him off to sleepy middle England.

On the beat with his half-wit new partner, Angel stumbles upon a series of gruesome accidental deaths, which may not be so accidental after all…

Near-Death By:
Church Spire – Tim Messenger (Adam Buxton) is trying to meet with Nick Angel in the churchyard, hopefully to explain exactly what is going on around Sandford.

The killer breaks a spire off the church roof, dropping it on the hapless journalist. It impales Messenger, completely obliterating his head, and he stumbles around a moment before finally collapsing with a splat.

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Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

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The Movie: It’s 1991 – two years has passed since Freddy’s last sequel and he’s been a busy boy – there is now only one teenager remaining in the town of Springwood.

It also turns out Freddy has a child, one that was taken away from him – and now he’s out to reclaim his offspring … with deadly results.

Death By:Hearing Aid – In Freddy’s dreamworld, hearing impaired Carlos foolishly puts on a hearing aid given to him by Freddy – which fuses to his ear and amplifies the tiniest sound to extreme levels.

Freddy drops pins onto the steel floor, paining Carlos immensely, before delivering the killer blow – running his knife hand across a blackboard, causing Carlos’ head to explode.

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Hannibal (2001)

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The Movie: Ten years after the events of The Silence Of The Lambs, serial-cannibal Hannibal Lecter is still at large and living in Italy.

His only surviving victim, the wealthy Mason Verger, is determined to capture, torture and kill him – and uses his influence to have FBI Agent Clarice Starling once again assigned to Lecter’s case.

Death By:
Eating Your Own Brain – After Agent Krendler (Ray Liotta) gets Starling suspended, Lecter turns up at his home, bringing the wounded Starling with him.

She awakens and walks down into the dining room to see Lecter remove the top of the heavily sedated Krendler’s skull, before taking part of his brain, cooking it and feeding it to him.

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Repo Man (1984)

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The Movie: Otto (Emilio Estevez) gets a job as a repossession agent, and the thrill of legally stealing cars is enough to make him give up his old punk-rock ways.

With the FBI on the hunt for a mysterious 1964 Chevrolet Malibu, he, and every other repo man in Los Angeles, joins the search.

Death By:
Something In The Trunk – In the opening scene, a weird driver (Tracy Walter) gets pulled over by a highway patrolman, who asks to see what’s in the trunk.

The driver hands over the keys, and watches as the trunk opens, engulfs the officer in bright white light, turns him into an x-ray, then disintegrates him, leaving only a pair of smoking boots on the asphalt.

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Seven (1995)

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The Movie: Detective Somerset (Morgan Freeman) is about to retire, and is asked to show rookie Detective Mills (Brad Pitt) the ropes.

Investigating a grisly homicide, the pair discover a sinister serial killer is at work, using the seven deadly sins as his M.O.

Death By:
Strap-On Knife Dildo – The detectives are called to a brothel, where underused character actor Leland Orser is arrested for the murder of a hooker.

According to him, he was forced at gunpoint to wear a strap on dildo -the fake phallus replaced with a large knife – and then engage in intercourse with the prostitute, cutting her to pieces from the inside out… Yikes.

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Robocop (1987)

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The Movie: In a future Detroit, crime runs rampant and police are outnumbered, out gunned and out of luck.

When Officer Alex Murphy is cut down in the line of duty, he is rebuilt with cyborg parts and sent out to clean up the streets as Robocop.

Death By:
Toxic Meltdown – Trying to run down Robocop, a goon ends up missing his target and plowing head-on into a vat of toxic waste.

His skin starts to literally melt off his body, and howling in pain, he steps out in front of another car, exploding in a gooey red mess all over the vehicle when it hits him. Nice.

Posted October 31, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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Die Monster Die   Leave a comment


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Die-Poster2.

Crank up the volume for this:

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Posted October 30, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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Love on the Beach   Leave a comment


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Down to the beach
Where young lovers closely nestle
As sand creatures cause the sand to bristle
Seagulls gliding in the air with screams and whistles
Kids picking up shells and building stormy sand castles

Down to the beach
Where mostly good vibes flow
Down to the beach
We go whilst there is still sun without snow 

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Posted October 30, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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Young Orphaned Polar Bear takes to Kiddie Pool with Gusto   Leave a comment


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An orphaned polar bear cub from Churchill has been brought south to the Polar Bear Conservatory in Winnipeg. The young female bear appears to be enjoying her new surroundings.

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Posted October 30, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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CBC Traffic Reporter Takes Political Correctness to another Level   3 comments


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This morning I was listening to CBC Winnipeg Information Radio with the always pleasant, affable and knowledgeable host Marcy Markusa, the munchkin voiced weather specialist Marilyn Maki and intrepid traffic reporter Trevor Dineen.  After listening to some great interviews handled by Marse, as Marilyn calls her, it was Marilyn’s turn to give us the lowdown on the  highs and lows of the days weather. It is probably just me, but listening to Marilyn is like being forced to endure nails scratching a blackboard.  She does not have a voice for radio. She sounds like a cross between a neutered Munchkin and a Ballet Dancer whose lungs are filled with helium.  It is one of the most irritating voices I have ever heard!  And CBC has given Marilyn her own radio show, Radio Noon.  Honestly, she sounds like a sexually underdeveloped midget.  I regress. 

Anyway then it was Trevor’s turn for the traffic.  Trevor is a solid traffic hound. He zig zags all over the city looking for traffic congestion and multiple vehicle collisions.  Not to mention those irritating stalled family vans. The only negative I had regarding Trevor before today was his occasional bursts of uncontrollable school girl laughter. His laughing fits sound like he has heard the greatest joke on earth while high on nitrous oxide.

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Trevor wearing a hip-hop knit cap. Rather incongruous thing to be wearing with that Billy Joel album behind him.

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Today Trevor noticed a manhole cover was ajar on a major street. He said something about watch out for that manhole cover, it could damage your undercarriage.  Then out of the blue good ol Trevor said from now on I am going to refer to those big steel round things as person-hole covers. He wanted to bring in the gender equality to a cover that leads to the sewers and gutters.  No woman will ever venture down a person-hole.  They could mess up their hair, not to mention get their shoes wet. Oh I’m sure there are some Tomboy Buffs that would go down there at the drop of a hat, but I have never seen one descend into the putrid depths below the person-hole. 

So now we know Trevor is a typical CBC PC non-discriminatory. I’m sure Trevor refers to obese people as horizontally challenged and midgets as vertically challenged. And so it goes. 

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See what I mean, only men plunge into a person-hole.

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Posted October 30, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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What the name of moral perversion is wrong with these Senators anyway?   Leave a comment


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Bad Senators swigging at the public trough and sucking the public tit.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2013~

The Canadian Senate expenses scandal is a political scandal concerning the expense claims of certain Canadian senators. Mike Duffy, Mac Harb, Pamela Wallin, and Patrick Brazeau claimed travel and housing expenses from the Senate for which they were not eligible (Mac Harb was also part of the scandal, but retired to avoid both the loss of his pension and charges.). As a result, the Auditor General of Canada began investigating the expense claims of the entire Senate. Duffy, Wallin, and Harb eventually repaid the ineligible amount.

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On March 22, 2013, Brazeau was expelled from the Conservative caucus over sexual assault allegations.

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Friday, February 8, 2013~

In February 2013, the Prime Minister’s legal advisor, Benjamin Perrin, secretly drafted a letter of understanding between Nigel Wright, the Prime Minister’s Chief of Staff, and Duffy. The letter stated Wright’s intention to transfer $90 172 to cover Duffy’s invalid expense claims. On May 15, 2013, the Prime Minister’s Office confirmed that Wright sent Duffy a personal cheque in that amount; the federal Ethics Commissioner announced that he would review the case. The next day, Duffy resigned from the Conservative caucus; he now sits as an independent senator.

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Friday, May 17, 2013~

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In February 2013, an external audit of Pamela Wallin’s travel expenses began. From December 1, 2010, through November 30, 2012, Senate records show that Wallin claimed $29,423 in “regular travel” expenses for direct flights from Ottawa to her home province of Saskatchewan or back. Her “other travel” expenses (to other Canadian destinations, including Toronto) were $321,027 over that same 24 month period. Senator Wallin noted in a Globe and Mail op-ed, a great deal of the “other travel” was actually to and from her home province of Saskatchewan, but didn’t count as “regular travel” because the flights did not start or end in Ottawa.  Although Wallin listed Saskatchewan as her primary residence records show she possessed a valid Ontario Health Card indicating her primary residence was in Toronto where she has a condo.  Wallin was one of several senators who faced questions about whether they lived in the province for which they were appointed.

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Posted October 29, 2013 by markosun in Uncategorized

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