Donald Trump Takes Breakthrough Wonder Drug to Enlarge his Hands   Leave a comment

Marco Rubio escalated his slate of recent attacks on Donald Trump’s looks Sunday, telling supporters at an event Sunday night that Trump can’t be trusted because he has “small hands.”

He was responding to Trump’s habit of calling him “Little Marco.” And while Rubio freely admitted he’s the shorter one of the two, he said he was baffled by the size of Trump’s hands.

“He’s like 6’2” which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2″. Have you seen his hands?” Rubio said during a rally in Roanoke, Virgina. “You know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them. You can’t trust them.”

Rubio’s insult appears to stem from an argument between Trump and Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. Carter once called Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian” in an article in Spy magazine.

But the Donald countered by commissioning a rogue scientist from the University of South-Central by North-South Alabama who has developed a hand enhancing drug called ‘Vipawagra’.  The drug is made from the palmenisca plant of northern Argentina.  It has been used to increase the size of horse hoofs ridden by the Gauchos. Fatter hoofs help the horses swim across raging rivers. The rogue scientist, Doctor Alvin Mellon, claims his ‘Vipawagra’ can increase hand size of an average man by 100 percent within 2 days.

Mr. Trump took the drug right after Rubio’s inflammatory small hands tomfoolery.  Trump was so agitated and annoyed at the small hands joke that he was prepared to do anything to make his hands bigger.  As the recent photo below illustrates, it seems to have worked.


Trump’s most recent wife Melania has been quoted as saying that the drug doesn’t seem to only affect Donald’s hands.  Malania said a couple days ago, while brandishing a huge satisfied smile, the effect of the drug seems to be moving down Donald’s body to the you-know-what-area.

Posted March 1, 2016 by markosun in Uncategorized

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