Rogers Sportsnet attempting to improve ratings   Leave a comment


Sportsnet is a Canadian English-language sports specialty service. The sports channel has almost exclusively went to women anchors for its evening highlight shows. You know, sports jocks like to look at the cuties after a hard days work and watching 3 hours of sports. The ladies are fine to look at, and they seem to know their stuff. However, the ratings are not spectacular. Changes have been made.

Sportsnet anchors: Tiffany, Ambrosia and Philomena.




Inside reports and recent leaked photos hint that Sportsnet is going to be heating up the Sports Centre.  Director of Sportsnet Promotions and Marketing, Glenden Kliggenfeld was quoted as saying, “the hotter the set, the steamier the ratings.” So get ready boys, the jackets are coming off.

Leaked photos of new anchors:

Trixie will be handling all basketball scores:


A graduate of ACME Institute for TV Careers. She is very familiar with big balls and fast up and down action.


Destiny is going to handle all hockey updates:


This young vixen hails from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. She had 9 brothers who all played hockey locally. Unfortunately none of them made pro. Destiny was a rink rat and loved to watch the boys hang.


Joniqua is the football anchor. She graduated from the Metro Academy for Media Arts (MAMA) in Sydney, Nova Scotia. Her forte in sports has always been watching football. From tight ends to hard pounding linebackers, Joniqua has always been entranced by the brutes. Her expertise in describing hard bone crushing excitement will get all the sports jocks revved up like they have never been before.



So tighten your jock straps late night sports viewers. The future of sports entertainment is about to begin.

Posted November 11, 2016 by markosun in Satire, Sports

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